乔伊斯的故事-第11章
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庑┯惺敝荒苈夷宰影樟恕Ｋ奚峥盏吹吹模蝗旌痛驳ゾ簿驳乃帕耍楸九抛哦缘却旁亩粒ㄒ坏纳焓悄羌谭⒊龅拇嘞欤掖蟾旁谙胍桓鱿略碌亩潦榧苹芤崖蚶吹氖榭赐臧伞Ｈ拢禾焓瞧烫旄堑氐牡嚼戳耍屡姆纭⒈蝗臁⑵し艉臀淖郑屡拇禾斓嚼戳耍ǔ貊驳挠缕烧婀奈枞耍掖蟾乓惨蛏ㄒ幌履切┥烁械男氖拢锰炱舫隹沼蛄恕；故遣灰了枷胱ㄖ列┪难О桑韬蜕⑽模列┟览龅奈淖秩ァ４禾炖镆欢ㄒ潦椋米排绾臀潞偷娜展猓谑榉亢木《嘤嗍惫狻�
“那两个字仿佛就摆在眼前，抑或藏在前方不知名的地方，始终要来的，但你依然不敢面对。不是你懦弱，而是感情太深了，不能自拔而已。”下午收拾旧资料，发现半页信纸上的这句话，我记不得是何时写的，也记不清写给谁了，我依稀有过这样的经历么？在书桌上的那半页信纸后面还有两三页，那或许是一封长信的开端，好像要讨论一个棘手的问题，才会用那样故作深沉的语调，那问题大概是分手，一个不合时宜的词语，在青春里，在被个人都幻想着爱情的时光里。是什么要让两个年轻人非要分手不可呢，那短短的几句话里透漏的哀伤氛围已经把我感染了。
在春天里阅读诗歌。
我具体说不出是什么，读诗歌能感觉得到一切的事物都爆开了身体内部的秘密，把隐藏最深处的东西敞开来，作者和读者一起凭着他的诗歌进入了事物的内核。世界上的事物一半是明亮的，一半的黑暗的，犹如昼夜的轮换。明亮使人欣喜，黑暗令人惧怕它，一种关于阴影的说法正四处蔓延，首先占领人们思想的是关于秘密死亡的阴影，那是一大堆事情重重压在人们头上后引起的人类的偏头疼。现在你还明白我在表达什么，其实你不必任何事都追求明白，你要了解的东西有一万岁，而你最多才一百多岁。所以你可以跳过的东西很多，比如跳过我的叙述直接思考你自己。那么，万岁，不是皇帝的称呼，皇帝也只有一百来岁，我要说的与万岁有关系，比如万岁这种说法，还有生活需要解决的问题时间跨度也可以用万岁计算。其实，我要说的我也不懂。我只是去想象那些大臣们俯首称臣甘心大呼万岁的时候，他们是什么心理。我现在憧憬着内心的诗歌的神，我懵懂地憧憬着。
丹尼尔&；#8226；笛福说：用另一种囚禁生活来描绘某一种囚禁生活，用虚构故事来陈述真实，两者都可取。
我用诗歌虚构我内心的神。冥冥脑海中，有一块虚无的石头高高压在附近的山顶，历史的石头。臭而坚硬发藏着几千的秘密，一天我从书堆中抬头仰望，虚无之上的石头凝聚着一双双的眼睛，四面八方、古往今来的眼睛仰望着它，高不可攀，星星般闪亮，那颗历史的明月。
邯郸这个小城正用它的冬天将外乡人催回乡，2007年阴历十二月二十二，我清楚的记得这一天，我搭着印刷厂的车驶往邯郸火车站，而印刷厂的另一张车正载着100本《西陵镇》从另一个小城赶来，在临近火车票上那个时刻的当儿，时间飞逝，空气中仿佛弥漫了硝烟，我感觉到了战斗的味道，如果那百本书不能及时的在我上火车前送到的话，我想会失去零七年这场大战。然而我必定是会胜利的，那张飞驰来到眼前的车卸下了我的书，我几乎是见到属于我的婴儿般的湿了眼眶。站在火车站这个熙熙攘攘的地方，我对自己说我完成了。邯郸的廿二日晴天，湛蓝的天空飘着高远的云，我在稍微暖和了点的阳光下谢谢这些帮我的兄弟们，由此我踏上了回乡的路。
“你梦寐以求的近在咫尺，已经与你照面。”（荷尔德林）
这文学迷宫的入口处已经露出了一丝微光，它是牵引的曙光性质的一个预言，自邯郸驶往郑州的火车上我分明感觉到了一路阳光照耀，大雪覆盖的中原在每个村口都悬挂着大红灯笼，仿佛一杖炮竹盛开在原野。离开邯郸，离开涉县，离开女娲故地，带走了那支上上签的预言，在起伏着白雪的原野，在这个“犹如炮竹埋入土中”的年纪，在这个要厚积薄发的时候，回乡是一阵欣喜的奔跑，回乡是一组可以尽情歌唱的诗歌。
因为这本书，实习单位领导希望我留在单位继续上班，对大学生特别关照的欧老师按照他的理论在办这份《边疆文学》杂志，他首先提携了我，给我第一份工作：云南省文联主办的《边疆文学》杂志编辑，在我把从邯郸带回来的新书《西陵镇》拱手送上的时候，我知道我将要走进文学殿堂。
一条小溪几经曲折往返的流淌终于遇见了大河，所以小溪愉快地被容纳和淹没了，作为大河的一小股水流，它需要更勇猛的向前流动，它需要赶在潮头去看看。乌云飞逝，在一个城市最低矮的湖边望向云天是需要一种放射性的眼光，乌云流过云南边境朝着河南飘，两个代表着云与河的我生活过的省份，被乌云联系着，在一个飘着雨丝的午后，像我飘来云南那样的飘回河南是我怀乡的感觉，我细味着雨天独特的人和事，我为何离乡而怀乡，为何匿藏了心中的芬芳，在一块没有人烟的精神高低徘徊，围着一些诗歌里的疯狂，我怀乡而渴望的温情而在此刻挥发。txt电子书分享平台
High school
I went to the county middle school with a few of my playmates； and we left the village and primary school in nostalgia。 Our primary school fell into disrepair and we all believed it needed an overhaul of each place； or else； our primary school would close its doors。
Bus droved out of Xi Ling town when the sun moved from east； the sunshine was like countless arrows。 We moved to county middle school under the golden clouds。 Yu Dong plains h*e been shrouded by a mist fog。 A gold arrow penetrated through the mist fog； and fell down to the ground of our east village； and the old man who under the big tree saw this sunshine。 He *iled with mere wrinkles； he stood beside the blacktop； looked at every one who left our village。 He has watched many people le*ing from this old village； we didn’t know which group we were。
We left in the morning； I always remember that mood when we left； just when the autumn came； just when the daylight came； just when the clouds w*ed； I felt empty in my body when I left from my village。
The blacktop connects several villages； some villages are big； and some are *all。 My father came back with the school fee from the construction site。 And I brought that money to the middle school。
The old man who stood in the edge of our village； his *iled was cinnamon； he was a defective man when he *iled and shown to us his teeth； he has lost two teeth at his age； and most people h*e similar with him； they had one or more sicknesses in their body； such as arthritis； stomach illness。 We left this town when those illnesses h*e not infected to us； and *ert the illness from poor condition。
But I got the senile foot chilliness finally in the night of city。 After the big examination in the middle school； I get a high achievement in Chinese language； and I also got the reading resources from my Chinese language teacher。
My teacher has many books； and he loaned to me a suit of the works of the Nobel Prize in Literature。 I h*e read some really great literature works in my middle school time。 And I found that I was so lucky to h*e good reading after six years； when I collected those books crazily。
This was my little reading story。
I left with bus in the morning； and returned in the evening。 We came and went all around the hometown。 There were so many colors pebbles on the road which we had walked along in the past time； and so many good memories waited for us to return； I also was excited with the village stories now。
I always was intoxicated in the memories； such as the dusk full with the afterglow； the forest full with flowers； the glistening pond； I cannot forget those beautiful moment ever。 We always urged the good memories to stay； especially in the midnight； I always backed into the past time and lived in the same meaning time again。 I pickup myself again； and I belonged to myself again。
This is Flatland。 I made this sentence as a decipherment to our hometown。 Xi Ling town extend to the city； and the *all cities connect together； they were named Shangqiu city together。 It attracts me by itself。 I love my plenteous hometown。
Admission Letter
There were some red papers pasted on the Iron Gate； and we would find our name and university if we were matriculated。 It was the important time for the announcement of examination result； we always lingered here with the heat and looked forward to our name and university name。
If our name was written in the red paper； I would pride by this encourage and reward for my study year by year； if not； I would not worth a penny。 We all waited for our names appearing in the red paper as an honor of more than ten years’ study。 In this busy street； the women in middle age pushed the iron wheel which carries a refrigerator to sell her Popsicle； but we all turned a deaf ear till she walk away。
One after another names appeared in the notice board； but there were no good news for me yet； I still h*e no harvest today； I hid in the doorway shade and turned to the Iron Gate for the research again； with the sunless mood； I back to the alley which I e from； I h*e left home a week and no enough money for the waiting； I h*e told to me that if there is no admission letter for me today； maybe I should back to home。 Then I h*e no money to eat and *oke again； I feel the noodles and cigarette so far for me that I feel disheartened deeply。
I back to the *all building； a house for hire beside the alleys； the shade of the building made me felt cool and pleasant； there were some water hid in the quartzite path； and some mud places need a skip； I stepped above the unsteady stone with a loose view； after the hastily steps I felt the active mood； that was a unconscious changing。
The lane was so poor in the rain days that I moved my notice to the low…lying loblolly； we would slide into the puddle which did not go bare foot if we were not careful。 The red word which was written in the shabby publish toilet door using the red paint； the red word （man） was swing with the wind from one side to another； the wooden door and the word all peeling off in the courtyard shade； I always trotted when I walked near to this public toilet； the red paint word with the random writing was still dangling in the wind。
I transferred to a wooden door with black painting；
